“As I start to leave, he grabs me by the shoulder and he tells me
What’s left to lose, you’ve done enough
And if you failed well then you failed but not to us
Because these last three years, I know they’ve been hard
But now it’s time to get out of the desert and into the sun
Even if it’s alone”—
At the park I found out that the big hoop doesn’t have a rim. Then I thought I could cash in on some street cred if nothing else. It’s not an entire admissions essay yet, but the first hurdle in the field. I’ve eaten less than usual recently and have also been less hungry. What’s wierd and worth mentioning is that I didn’t immediately think one implies the other.
I want something big. And I know I’m leaving town soon, but it needs to arrive before that. It doesn’t even have to be completely benevolent. I guess I’m willing to take one for the team if it’s still going to end up in the highlight reel. Because urgency is empowering.
It turns out that this was not just a symptom of my self-imposed insomnia and has carried over into the afternoon from the new morning. I wrote a whole song in the shortest time I’ve taken for one. Not only that, I’ve learned how to not dip each phrase in cheese fondue. Here’s a taste, just incase I want to add more.
Blinds closed and restlessness, it’s never enough
The light draws my eyes up, my hands reach to touch
All those places I’ve forgotten, let’s see who’s mistaken
Hello world. Somehow you’re lighter than I imagined. And flatter. I’ve begun this in hopes of venting, honing my focus, and finding a grip on those wierd, wild thoughts that defy you to communicate them exactly. I’m well aware this will soon become a medium for, if it’s not mostly comprised of, internet humor and great things that other people said. But there must be a gem in these hills, and this is not some protected park. Instead of leaving everything as you stumble upon, please shine it off, revel in its inherent worth, and share it with the next prospective archaeologist.